can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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