Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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