Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
