Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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