Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
