'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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