you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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