When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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