We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize