so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
