This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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