we're blogging at a bar
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
