i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
