it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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