Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
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