happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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