Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
