What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
