I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
