I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
