I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize