i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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