question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Text me some of your sweat
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
