your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
