Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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