used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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