there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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