I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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