you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
