It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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