He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
