Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
