do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
