none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Im part way to drunk.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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