yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
