so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
