Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize