the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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