Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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