"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
it glows. i had to have it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
