Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
