You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
