So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize