I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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