I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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