C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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