Is it because I queefed?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just invented taco cereal.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
