know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
