This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
