Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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