Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
