My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
