We won't sleep together?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
