atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
