well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
