Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
