It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
